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Out of the following two statements, which do you find yourself saying each time you walk out the door and head to class at the studio?
(1) “I have to go to yoga/pilates.” vs.
(2) “I get to go to yoga/pilates.”
I’ve said #1 a lot more times than I’d care to admit. I still do. But now, when I find myself using a lot of “have to” language, instead of staying in that headspace (because it's usually accompanied by a mood that's not pleasant to be around), I pause, breathe and acknowledge that this is the place I’m starting from today. I don’t judge myself for being there. Instead, I’m curious. Why am I feeling this way today? Have I overcommitted and do I feel overwhelmed? Upset? Exhausted? And then I remind myself that I have a choice to show up differently.
We’re all responsible for how we show up in life. Every time we show up to a job, a relationship or a workout, we are responsible for how we show up. We are responsible for the energy we bring into that space, whether it’s “have to” or “get to” energy. As a teacher, I can’t control how you show up, but I can tell you that the students who show up with “get to” energy see/feel the results they want to see/feel a LOT quicker than the students who show up with “have to” energy. Why? "Get to" has a willingness, a presence, and a desire to be there. "Have to" does not.
“I have to” implies that “having to do” the thing is keeping us from something we want to do. It says whatever has to be done does not really need my attention, nor should it have my attention because I have something better to do with my time right now. “I have to” is not present. In contrast, “I get to” is both rooted in the present and full of gratitude. It carries a reframed appreciation for getting to do a thing that not everyone gets to do!
How we look at our situations defines how we walk through them. Jack Canfield created a simple clarification equation for how we show up in life:
E + R = O, where E represents an event, R represents our response, and O represents the outcome. So what does this mean? The outcome of an event is tied to how we respond to it. If we show up with “get to” energy every time we walk into the studio - grateful for this opportunity to take 60min for ourselves today, excited to move and be with community, ready and willing to be there, how much more would we get out of our class? When we start to use “I get to” vs. “I have to,” we start to be radically honest with ourselves, more present in our daily lives, and more excited about the things we get to do. And, as a bonus, we will start to see results a lot quicker!
Achievement is proportional to effort. Effort is proportional to willingness. And willingness is the primary ingredient to do anything in life. So if you want to “achieve” anything today, even the smallest goal, notice how you are showing up, acknowledge where you are starting from (without judgment!), and choose to bring more “get to” energy into your day.
I’ll be choosing that today too.
x Caitlin
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